He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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