I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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