And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
