i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize