This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
