I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
