Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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