her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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