White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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