fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
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I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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