It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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