Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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