You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
