SEEEEXXX PLEASE
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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