she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
