Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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