I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
