He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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