Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
