I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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