im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
i out mim tonsoeep
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