the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
