There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
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