if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
