Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
