i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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