I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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