Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize