I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Text me some of your sweat
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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