? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
