Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
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Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
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When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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