I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
third nipple confirmed
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
