I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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