Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
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I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
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I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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