Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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