Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
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He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
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Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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