i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
