I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
