I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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