I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Someone came in the potted fern
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
