She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
