....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
