my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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