Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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