hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
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We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
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Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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