People with herpes should wear stickers.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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