I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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