i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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