the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
