If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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