Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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