They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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