I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
