You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
