if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
