god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
