too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
