i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
