well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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