I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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