Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
