therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
