Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You are a genius and a whore.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
