I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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