absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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