Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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