Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize