she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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