i will never coherently bang her
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
