yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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