i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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