I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
