I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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