hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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